EXCLUSIVE! NASA Report Links Rising Temperatures to Virat Kohli's On-Field Fury! 😱🔥 Is He To Blame for Global Warming?

DELHI – In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the scientific and cricketing communities, a leaked preliminary report from NASA suggests an alarming correlation between global temperature spikes and the on-field aggression of Indian cricket superstar, Virat Kohli. The report, humorously titled "The King's Inferno: A Thermographic Analysis of Passionate Batting," posits that each fiery glare, every pumped fist, and particularly, every single boundary celebration from Kohli might be directly contributing to the planet's thermal equilibrium issues.

"Humare simulations clear bolte hain, every Kohli glare adds a degree. Science hai, bhai!" quipped Dr. Arjunsingh Verma, a theoretical climatologist reportedly involved in the early stages of the ‘study’.

The 'evidence' presented in the report includes graphs showing unprecedented heatwave occurrences in sync with Kohli's most aggressive innings, especially during high-stakes chases. One particularly damning chart allegedly maps the surge in Kolkata's humidity during a 2016 IPL match directly to Kohli's indignant reaction after a missed run-out opportunity. The report even proposes a multi-million dollar "Cool Down Fund" – an estimated ₹50 Crores annually – to research 'aggression dampeners' or, failing that, install industrial-grade air conditioners around every stadium during his matches. Scientists are now scrambling to ascertain if Rohit Sharma's calmer demeanor (and perhaps his love for Vada Pav) could potentially have a cooling effect to counteract this phenomenon.

"Bhai, this is too much! Pehle six-hitters broke windows, now Kohli breaks the climate?" exclaimed one bewildered fan outside Feroz Shah Kotla, juggling an extra-large Thums Up.

While environmentalists are calling for an immediate 'Kohli Cooling Protocol' and potentially a 'Mandatory Meditation Minute' for the batting maestro after every half-century, the BCCI has yet to comment, presumably busy calculating how many extra water breaks this would necessitate. As the planet warms, the question remains: Can Virat Kohli learn to 'chill out' for the sake of humanity, or are we doomed to a future of ever-sweatier cricket matches and perpetually melting ice caps, all fueled by the King's unbridled passion?